oh no not my pants


Wedding Dash

Device: All
Genre: People are useless and you must micromanage their world
Price: $0.99 (originally $2.99)

Wedding Dash is part of the [Thing] Dash series that introduced Flo and her Diner. Back in the dark ages when I had a PC, I was completely addicted to these games even when I was seething with resentment that people in this town were so incapable of managing themselves that you had to literally tell them when they could eat and pay and leave. The games have been very popular on the iDevice, but I haven’t tried any (mostly because I’ve played them all) until now. Wedding Dash was recently updated to be even weddingier, and is a good way to pass the time, especially when it’s on sale (I have a sneaking suspicion the price will be going up to $4.99 when the promo is over).


Device: All
Genre: Save humanity, wear Spandex
Price: $0.99 (originally $1.99)

I’ve never played this title, but it looks kind of awesome – live the life of a jetsetting playboy superhero and save the world from a wide variety of evil. You can beat up robots to save babies (hey, developers: please reverse that; we’re not ALL robot-hating baby lovers you know), high-five your fans to boost your ego, and generally be an all-round dashing champion of the people. I could get behind that for a dollar – it’s not like I ever get to save the day in the rest of my boring, non-superhero’d life.

Dungeon Hunter

Device: iPad
Genre: Diablo with faeries
Price: $0.99 (originally $6.99)
Disclaimer: The dungeons themselves require very little hunting

If Captain Serious over there looks familiar, it’s because I’ve posted this game before for the iSmall. They’ve slashed the price of the iPad version though, so if you want to feel superior to me because I paid $7 for this game when you can get it for $1, go right ahead. It’s a good hack n’ slash game and a very passable Diablo clone, so have at it.

Meow Meow Happy Fight

Device: All
Price: $0.99 (launch price; will be $2.99)

This game is called “Meow Meow Happy Fight”. What more could you possibly need to know? Get it now.

Okay, fine. It’s a dual-stick shooter (ala Minigore, which is on sale right now for $0.99) set in an adorable neon Japan. Battle it out arena-style against a whole bunch of characters and collect power-ups that do cool shit. Seriously, I’m sold on this game from the title alone – but it’s actually pretty fun once you get the hang of it. PEW PEW PEW PEW


Device: All
Genre: Minimalist RGP
Price: $0.99 (originally $1.99)

Take all the best parts of an RPG – killing things, collecting loot, powering up – and you’ve got Fastar! There are no quests or stupid stories to worry about; you have a big sword and a bow tie, and your goal is to get from town to town as fast as possible while staying alive and also ridding the path of boxes. Click the icon and read the description of the game; any snark I bring couldn’t top what they’ve done over there. Also, keep an eye out for the unicycle.

Piyo  Blocks

Device: All
Genre: Match 3 kawaiiiiiii blocks!
Price: FREE (originally $1.99)

Oozing with personality and hopefully not other things, Piyo Blocks is a match-3 game (ala Bejeweled) but with a retro-Japanese-pixel aftertaste. Three game modes and the cutest darn blocks ever have given this game high ratings, even amongst the Bejeweled diehards. It’s free, so what have you got to lose except perhaps hours of productivity?


Device: All
Genre: Photo Manipulation
Price: FREE (originally $0.99)

I’ve often thought to myself “you know, I wish the pictures I took were blurrier” and now they can be. Set your brush size and effects and change your image from a crisp work of photographic art to something that looks like it was taken by donkeys. If you’re not trying to intentionally mimic the suck, this app allows you to pretend you’ve got a f1.4 50mm lens which is something everyone should have.


One response to this post.

  1. […] like it when things I’ve already featured go on sale. Fastar! is free today, so you should get it. Show those boxes who is boss – hint: […]


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